i cant thing of a proper title, so just random lar zzz.

this is a f***ing sian weekend. sian like tmd hell. its mug all day long for 2 days lar n*b*h. My parents stalk me whenever i use the comp that they are like perverts lar. in the end, i can only humour myself with sudoku and heli attack ("what you doing?" "studying chem") = = because they are on miniclip.com and i can close the windows easily. summore mr brown dunno go where liao so no funny podcasts to listen to zzz...

but if i were possessed by jun heng, i'd feel quite HAPPY about this weekend, because i completed my HRP, mugged chem. but im not possessed by him. so i feel sian. i discovered that i didn't bring home my FRANKENSTEIN text, so i guess its GG for lit assignment. online version again. zzz i must remember to bring it home when necessary...

to back track abit, friday went back to trg, but recrea day for me, wc, zc, my n henry. go look for places for soccer. end up keep blo**dy raining then we cant play. street court to wet, field too muddy. n*beh. but in e end we risked it and played with wen xuan's batch of ex-ncos. kenneth, rui yang theyall. lol we lost....3-1 izzit? or 4-2. cant rmb. wen xuan b goaile = no need score =( in the end rain AGAIN so we stopped. we used the sh*t ball, but i need to get my total 90 ball back. according to sijie the new dcsm, cannot pump air in. mus get it back and try. if really cannot then i heck and buy another ball lar.

after friday's recrea day.....then become sian weekend liao. zzz. now mus go "mug chem" again.

after friday, it's farewell to us all! i think it fitting that i do a run-through of the people in my squad...

Samuel (bone-clinkz): crapper....samuel rox. nice friend, nth to say, but he just rox!

Ming Yeung (mugger): crapper...nice friend, strives for excellence in everything he does! soccer, first aid, maple, dota etc.etc.

Henry (-): crapper...nice friend, and a good help to liye too...

Douglas (man): crapper...love to see him ap ppl...

Zhen Chao (slacker): crapper...good friend since...i 4got when, but i find that friendships that i forgot when they start tend to be nicer and closer. we ap 2gether, luff 2gether, despise 2gether and other things lawl....really good friend

Wen Cong (retard/gondar/silencer): crapper!!!!! ultimate crapper!!! joker!!! retard!!! lawl...nice friend!

Jin hao (horny): crapper....nice friend, and ji horny!!!

Aaron Hang (ah dao/log/hang):*hang*

Liye (SSG): crapper...nice friend...lawl he was a good PC2....and very crap too.

Wang Lin (Ah Girl): must attribute the nickname to golden rooster uncle. we went to buy lunch, wanglin bought fries, and the uncle shouted: "Ah Girl!! ni de french fries hao le!!" oO pwnzzor!!!
but he seems to have detached from our squad. lol

Kai Meng (pudge): nice guy. bit SMALL :D

Yu Feng (BB): BB!!!! ill nv 4get you as my number 1 during AC team!!

Bertrand (bird): lol...nth much to say...haha!! nice guy...

last of all, this guy wasn't really from my squad, but we all consider him as one of us anyway.

Tay Wen Xuan (Tay Dou Fa): crapper...nice friend, and really helpful. he's always ready to extend the helping hand, and he's helped my squad ALOT...a real damned lot...

That's it. school tomorrow. zzz.

yesterday pass out liao. it's an ending to a great story spanning 3.5 years. It should have been a happy ending to this story, but it got screwed. We're seriously considering whether to come back at all, because we don't want to get ignored. Too many arupt and generally pointless changes have been made, double standards have been observed, and madness seems to have taken root in some people. It just dosen't seem worthwhile to come back. The batches before could come back happily because they passed out happily, and the changes haven't been made, the madness hadn't taken root. Now, however...we didn't pass out happily. We couldn't. Not that we were despised or what, but getting that type of farewell...cannot be happy one.

But it was quite sad, really. The 1st every comp team kai siong picked when we were sec 1 unintentionally got together and disucsse dour options hereon. By the time we realised, it probably dawned on us that it's most likely the last time that we would get together like that...

The parting of ways, so to speak. but i'll still remember the days, we all will. lawl. From jinhao t3h sicko, to LDF, to wencong t3h crapper, then winning NAT comp, then becoming NCOs, and jinhao remaining as sick as ever, wencong as crap as ever and now passing out. we really had a great time. we really shouldn't have left like that. but what could we have done to change it...?

sian.

ya lor, our school is imba. 10 golds in one day...i'm sure that's very few. 3ple from track, 3ple from judo, double from air rifle and gymnastics. that's quite few lar horh. Not to mention the best atheletes for track for 'B' and 'C' div coming from our school. hurrah Scott!!

but walao, 10 gold still let off at 11.20 only, mus be like....10 days holiday mah...! or...or at least 10 periods off so as to commemorate the 10 golds! but nuuuuu let off at 11.20, + goh held us back for 1 period. 4F even more 1337, held back by fooyy for another period. abit half-day for them lawl!!

another 3 minutes and it'll be July 21st! Passing out tomorrow woot! now i can come back AND play soccer whenever i like! cool! last time is come back for the training and "ren3" until recrea time! now after footdrill "zhi2 jie1" pia to street court or cage! sweet! imba!

one more imba thing: jack. i just realised a wonderful equation. Jack = Yixin = Imba. abit nOOOOOOOOOb man.

to those who duno, for some reason, imba means imbalanced which means more powerful than it should be.

oh ya, tmr also racial harmony day. dun wan to comment.

= = it just turned 12.00am. july 21st weeeee

ya lor, our school is imba. 10 golds in one day...i'm sure that's very few. 3ple from track, 3ple from judo, double from air rifle and gymnastics. that's quite few lar horh. Not to mention the best atheletes for track for 'B' and 'C' div coming from our school. hurrah Scott!!

but walao, 10 gold still let off at 11.20 only, mus be like....10 days holiday mah...! or...or at least 10 periods off so as to commemorate the 10 golds! but nuuuuu let off at 11.20, + goh held us back for 1 period. 4F even more 1337, held back by fooyy for another period. abit half-day for them lawl!!

another 3 minutes and it'll be July 21st! Passing out tomorrow woot! now i can come back AND play soccer whenever i like! cool! last time is come back for the training and "ren3" until recrea time! now after footdrill "zhi2 jie1" pia to street court or cage! sweet! imba!

one more imba thing: jack. i just realised a wonderful equation. Jack = Yixin = Imba. abit nOOOOOOOOOb man.

to those who duno, for some reason, imba means imbalanced which means more powerful than it should be.

oh ya, tmr also racial harmony day. dun wan to comment.

= = it just turned 12.00am. july 21st weeeee

That's it. We lost. 7 months of work down the drain. I cannot possibly express how I feel in words. A mixture of exasperation, fustration, fury and disappointment, among others, should be just about right.

Both teams won trophies, yes they did. But to me, as long as they don't bring back the 2 trophies that matter, any other trophy gotten is as good as nothing. 7 months worth of hardwork was not put in to settle for 3rd or for best footdrill. It was put in to get back double national champs. but nOOOOOOOO, from AA champion in 2005, HCISJAB only managed to scrape a 3rd in AA and a best footdrill in AC. The first genuine opportunity in 3 years to bag double national champions. Past 2 years, only AA qualified. This was the 1st time in 3 years we got through in both categories. The NCOs, whether ex- or present, gave our all, stretched ourselves to our max (no such thing as beyond our max, because it wouldn't be called max then), gave our all, put in the same, if not more effort that got us the national champion trophy last year. We were ready. My training department was ready to end our term with another 2 trophies in the trophy cabinet. We did get 2 trophies alright, but not the 2 we hoped for.

Of course, they can all say "they did their best...no regrets" and all those touching things. But seriously, if you did your best and you didn't get champions. tells alot about your abilities, dosen't it. if they really did their best and have no regrets, the one having serious regrets would be me. I would regret spending the 7 months training them. 7 months to produce this kind of "best". I'd be better off mugging and all. Maybe the above paragraph may be a little harsh, but you cannot probably imagine the level of disappointment I felt, and still feel. The tought really burns. Seeing my national champion trophy on the cabinet on sunday night and the past 2 mornings. Just a glance reminds me of the 9th of July. Just a glance tells me that we squandered SUCH A GOOD CHANCE. Just a glance......nevermind I won't continue. Still, I didn't cry, none of the NCOs did. Maybe we were all dazed/stunned/shocked. The cadets cried though, but they ought to. They deserve every bit of disappointment, regret or whatever they felt.

Can't continue. May end up throwing my keyboard in fustration or something if i do.

zzz this blog abit "few" dust. So long never come here loh. But with nationals coming up on sunday, i felt i must let out something.

We put in 6 months worth of effort for the 9th of july (dun be lame and think world cup). Zone comp was but a mere... "formality", getting double champs would have been a given. BUT, nat comp would have been something we really have to work for, given our experience last year. It takes real effort and commitment.

Are they showing it? maybe. but it's not enough. you can't win just with effort and commitment, just like how you can't EAT effot and commitment. you have to results to procure something to eat. they need to turn up results to snag the trophies. the quality is needed. they're just not there, i know it. i goddam know it.

Please, someone teach me how to train SOMETHING out of these bunch. it's really like CATCHING WATER IN MY HANDS WITH MY FINGERS OUTSTRETCHED.
BLOODY, DAMNED, FUSTRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

zzz....nvm i'll plough on, and face the inevtiable on 9th july, sunday. but at least i know i won't be the one crying. not tt im trying to act, but i know i won't. too care-"less".